It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
