I wish I only lived at night.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
