Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
