is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
