I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize