Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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