i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
