I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize