she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
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This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
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Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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