Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
last night I used snow as a chaser
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
