that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
