My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize