Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
