I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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