I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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