i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I can't put those talents on a resume
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
