Too much gin, very little bucket
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
