Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
