I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
