there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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