There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There are leaves in my underwear?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
