You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
