I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
