He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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