Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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