The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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