Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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