Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
