just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
