I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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