a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
