how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
