I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i now understand why vodka
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
