everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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