I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
