You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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