I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
