I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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