So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
