it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
