We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
