BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
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Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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