I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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