When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
