This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
