I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
