Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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