the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
