Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
