On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
