chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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