Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
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Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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