Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
