I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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